The Hand Sanitizer At the Gym Is Bankers

I would like to apologize to all my fans and followers (all 4 of you) who don't go to Lehigh and probably will not understand the pain that I am about to describe.

In an effort to keep you entertained, I will provide some background.

(It should be noted that I'm being super dramatic and pretending the background is going to be as complicated as some J.R.R. Tolkien shit, and it's just not.)

Literally coming out of the sanitizer machines.

Background:
- There are 2 hand sanitizer sprayers at the gym. (Not the foamy Purell ones. These spray in a fashion similar to the spray that comes out of a cleaning product nozzle. Think mist ... Yes, mist works.)
- The cheapest, and therefore most popularly purchased alcohol at Lehigh, is "rubbing alcohol" flavored vodka, also known fondly by all as Bankers.

Are you all with me? Great. Moving right along.

I'll be blunt here. A lot of people at college gyms are hungover. Shocker.

So, you're at the gym. After you wipe down the sweaty elliptical, grab a drink of water, your natural next move is to get your sanitization on. No one likes germs.

You put your hands under the nozzle, and in the blink of the little blue light, you are sprayed down with Bankers. All of a sudden, you've literally just taken a handle of Bankers to the face. You're suffocating in Bankers and trying not to gag (puke) after your workout. Bankers is on your hands. It's in your nostrils. It's everywhere.

* SCENE *