Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Altitude "Problems"


I had an experience today* that I thought was worthy of a post. So here we are.

I'm currently visiting a friend in Boulder, Colorado (yay, friends!). Having never been to Colorado, I was due for a speech on the risks of the mile-high city and how to be weary of the "thinness of the air."

Lucky for me, my Aunt, a seasoned CO traveller was willing to inform me how to deal.

"You'll definitely notice it. It's like, you'll just feel kind of slow. I remember one time, walking up a flight of stairs, and having to take a minute to myself just to catch my breath!"

All I can imagine is that episode of Spongebob in which Mr. Squarepants thinks that he can visit Sandy in her underwater air bubble sans water-helmet. AKA I'M GOING TO DIE. Now, something you should know about me is that I'm a pretty anxious human. My chest is already tightening at the thought of landing.

This is what I felt like in 23C.
I'm on the plane. We're in descent. Turbulence. Okay, I can handle this. Might die, but whatever. We land. We're taxiing. I am counting down the minutes until the cabin door opens. These are my last breaths. I'm breathing heavily in my middle seat (the worst). Like, heavily. I feel like I'm in one of those situations where there's like a fire alarm or something but I'm the only one who can hear it so I'm just playing it cool but like, THERE'S A GODDAMNED FIRE.

I'm literally watching the rows in front of me as if I will see some sort of cue that row 5 - now 8 - now 15 - is losing air. All I see is calm people unloading their belongings from the overhead bins. Wtf is this.


IN SUMMARY - stfu about the "thinness of the air" because GUESS WHAT it's a non-issue.

Go to Colorado ppl. It's safe.

*Today is now a few weeks ago. GTF over it.

1 comment:

  1. The only time I've ever noticed thin air in CO is when I'm drinking (you can still breathe, the booze is just more effective so wheeee!) or hiking in the Rockies with a local and my former-swimmer/beast of a roommate. Also, your anecdotes put a smile on my face. Thanks!