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| Where the F*#K are my keys?! |
Every time I'm frantically looking for something, the second my anger overwhelms me and I succumb to the urge to yell "WHERE THE F*#K IS MY (insert lost object)," it turns up. Immediately. Like, some Harry Potter magic.
Now, let me be clear. I'm not encouraging you to run around cursing about your lost objects. There is a particular restriction to the theory that completely undermines its effectiveness if not used properly.
Listen up.
You cannot be aware that you are using the theory for it to work. You cannot remember the theory at the beginning of a search for your keys, snap your fingers, say the magic words, and like a good neighbor, no.
The theory only works when it is brought up from within you from your sincerest frustrations with the black hole of your purse/room/closet/drawer/etc.
Do you have any bizarro life theories? Let a sistah know in the comments.
I have a similar theory! In a restaurant, if the food is taking a long thime to get there, I'll go to the restroom. When I get back, 95% of the time the food is at the table. Up it to 97% if you include the times the food arrives right after. On the other side of things, when I was working as a waiter, there was this couple who stayed at the table long after 10pm. I started to get really frustrated and had to use the toilet and decided, "F*#k it, let's test the theory," and when I got back they were clearing out and I could break down their table and go home.
ReplyDeleteTL;DR - Restaurants + Restrooms + Robert = Results
HAHA Robert too good. Didn't know you were a waiter! Regardless, too funny. That's a great theory and I totally believe it too.
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